Grey Gardens*

I'm sitting at SeaTac awaiting boarding time. Since I want to leave all things behind and enjoy my trip, this is my last opportunity to write about the "b horror flick" which I alluded to in my first post. Most of you by now have heard the saga, but for those of you that have not, here is a disclaimer: this is both a sad and a not so pleasant story. I'm not sure which it's more of. do not read this while eating, when planning on eating, or if you have a queasy stomach or fear of "critters." And no, I am not exaggerating any of this. Seriously. I wish I were.

Here's the scene, 1 week ago this past Saturday (name changed to protect the innocent)

Amy (on cell phone sitting in car in front of my house): I'm here Jill, come out, I'm not coming in?
Me: What do you mean you're not coming in?
Amy: Seriously, there are rats, I'm not getting out of my car
Me: Amy, rats? I live in the city now, sure you probably saw a rat
Amy (audibly getting more agitated): JILL, I live in the city too...there are rats, more than one...this is NOT normal...come out and get in the car, I don't want to get out
Me: OK (grabs bag and heads out to car to go to dinner)
Both sitting in car in front of my house
Amy: SEE...did you just see that...there's another one
Me: Yeah, I saw it...it's been raining. a lot. they are probably coming out of the sewers.
Amy: No, this isn't normal, i'm telling you. LOOK another one!
drive to dinner
Amy: Seriously Jill, this isn't normal with the rats. Has there been construction going on?
Me: Actually yeah, there were people working at the house next door today...I just figured they were remodeling.
Amy: Ok, that's your assignment tomorrow..find out what's going on next door because really, this is NOT normal.
Me: Ok, I get it.
there was a bit more drama upon returning to my house which involved me running up and down the street stomping to "scare off the rats" so Amy could return to her car
Skip to Sunday morning
Me...in bed asleep still, phone rings
Me: Hello?
Amy: So, what did you find out?
Me (still half asleep): Huh? Oh, right...hold on. (walks to window and peers out). Looks like the construction people are back over there.
Amy: Good...now go talk to them and call me back. Bye.
And this my friends is when seriously, you want to put your food down!

White unmarked construction truck
Man in full hazmat-like gear including respirator mask

Me: Hi, I just recently moved in next door, can you tell me what's going on?
Hazmat dude: We're powerwashing.
Me: The INSIDE?!?!?!
HD: Yeah
Me: Uhhhh...could this have something to do with the rats I saw last night (at this point the memory of my sister finding her neighbor dead in her home this summer suddenly sprung into my mind)
HD: Oh, heh, did you see a migration?
Me: Migration? Uh, yeah, you could say that...I would definitely say it was more rats than I'm used to ever seeing.
HD: Yeah, probably.
Me (pulling teeth): So, it was that bad in there, huh?
HD: Yeah
Me: So, I haven't even met them...are they living there?
HD: It's just an old lady, her husband is in a nursing home. She's in a hotel right now but coming back.
Me: Ok thanks.

call Amy back with update...
Amy: you need to get more info
Me: wait, looks like there are people gathered around on the lawn, maybe they are other neighbors
Amy: Go talk to them...get the scoop

non-hazmat people (NHP)
Me: Hi, do you live around here?
NHP: No, my wife runs this company
Me: So, can you give me the scoop
NHP: Man...yeah. It's pretty bad. One of the worst we've seen. 70 year old lady. Doesn't seem she's ever thrown anything away. Ever. Her husband's blind but he's in a nursing home.
Me: So she's a hoarder?
NHP: Yeah, I guess. She's been feeding the rats so that they wouldn't eat her food. When the guys opened the fridge and oven they (rats!) poured out . We didn't even know there was a kitchen table with chairs in there it was piled so high with newspapers dating back to 2000.
Me: Wait. She was feeding rats?
NHP: Yeah, but she's moving back in because they say she's of "sound mind and body"
Me (bewildered, and slightly grossed out): Uhh, if she's feeding rats I'm thinking she's not of sound mind and body.
NHP: Yeah
Me: You know I thought it was strange that ever since I've moved in I've never seen any lights on over here...I thought maybe they had moved away.
NHP: Well, that's because every single light bulb had burned out...she wasn't using the heat, but just a little space heater she had in her room. The rats had made nests in all of the radiators.
Me: How horrible.

Ok...you get the gist. I could go into more detail but I'm about to board and I truly want to put this behind me...or at least temporarily forget about it for the next 15 days! Long story short, for the next few days it was like "whack-a-rat" everytime I looked out on the front lawn at night. I started hearing rats in my walls and thought perhaps I was just imagining it. Hazmat team was there every day for a week working to clean the place (I was told they were surprised I couldn't smell it). Turns out I wasn't going crazy and I really was hearing rats in my walls. Thankfully my landlords are great and got right on it. An exerminator has come and hopefully by the time I get back I won't hear or see another rat. On the non-gross side of things, it's truly a sad story. In the state of Washington a person is "of sound mind and body" as long as they are paying their bills and a family member doesn't commit them. She's moved back in, and when I return I hope to befriend her...not that I'll be able to keep her from her ways...but maybe if she has a friend she won't be as inclined to feed the rats.
I'm sure this isn't the end of this story (Erik...always an epic, right?)

Boarding in 5 minutes. Will have to post this once I have internet (I'm too cheap to pay for it here at the airport!). (free internet at Atlanta airport - yea!)

Adios mi amigos...the next time I write I'll be a lot warmer and a LOT more relaxed!

*Grey Gardens...look it up!